Knowing/Feeling

Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. I have officially been here (drum roll please) ONE MONTH. And I (as well most babies everywhere) will no longer be announcing my time in days or weeks but in months. And like every mother in the entire universe I will continue to count the weeks in my head and cry a little at how quickly time goes. (It’s been five weeks).

As always, the amount of things that has happened is enormous and hilarious and (only slightly) distressing. Allow me to give you a pretend powerpoint presentation of all that’s happened. (“Click”-cue annoying and time consuming ppt animation)

Below is a path up a small mountain in my city. The path’s name is obviously in a different language but I’m pretty sure it can be translated as “the stairs of doom”.**

And as the “stairs of doom” implies they are incredibly hard to walk up, very slippery when it rains, and almost completely straight up. There was one point where I thought I was climbing a ladder!* Before you get impressed that I completed such a feat, know that as I was walking up an older woman called out to me on her way down. Conveniently it was some new words I’d learned- “You tired?” She called looking not at all winded. Me- “(gasping for air) Uh…yes.” I will conquer you stairs of doom. I will be your master!!!! Also this gigantic Buddha awaited me at the top of the stairs. As I have since learned- ginormous statues of Buddha are actually very common- so I may be able to conquer my fear of giant statues. (Yeah, I’m talking to you Athena in Nashville).

I no longer live alone! I have roommates!! They’re pictured above in a group picture with two other friends from school. We ate an so many bowls of noodles that we got a free coke! Win! (I recognize that a group picture is highly confusing considering you don’t know who my roommates are. I’ll let you guess for now because unfortunately I don’t have another pic. But what a fun game!) Also my home is starting to look more homey! Adding a couch has been a dream- though more often than not we just sit on the kitchen floor to hang out and eat dinner. #SEA

I took a trip with some friends to a nearby village to visit with some teachers from school! The countryside is BEAUTIFUL and a simple iPhone camera can’t capture it, but everywhere I look I see the beauty of creation.

Remember when I said that driving a motor scooter was hard? Well…I maybe sort of wiped out when trying to turn down the alley to my house. The good news is, I have learned that there is (in fact!) a way not to brake. #win

My team and I took a short trip to a neighboring country for some rest and rejuvenation! It was a great time exploring the exotic and finding some familiar things. (why helllooo Oreos and KFC!) I’m so glad for a chance to explore!

Don’t let the excitement and the adventures fool you. The past few weeks have had their share of difficulty (hello motorbike??) Here’s the thing – Being overseas is a lot like playing a really really fun game with a whole bunch of strangers. Sometimes I know the rules, sometimes I get called out because I’m doing something wrong, and sometimes we score a point and I have no idea how or why. It’s fun! But, it’s also isolating. I’m surrounded by players in this game I haven’t figured out yet, and I still have so much to learn.

Most of my struggles this week have been internal, and the battle of knowing and feeling rages in my heart and mind. I feel sad. I know I’m victorious. I feel discouraged sometimes. I know I’m in the Father’s plan right where I am. Even though there are people all around me, there have been several days where I feel so alone, and in those moments especially I rest in truth, and act on what I know. I guess I should be used to being surrounded and yet separate (I mean, come on! I’m a daughter among sons!) but it still feels hard. I know that those feelings won’t last forever, and already I’ve felt lighter and more resilient when those moments in the week come! That’s through the Father’s grace. More than anything, I rest in what I know to be true – that He is with me and that He is working in me and that He is working through me.

And that makes me feel like enough.